In 2006, Cheesus was spotted in a bag sent to a youth pastor in TX. Coincidence? Do you think it was mere chance that Cheesus fell into the cheese-covered fingers of this young man instead of, say, Richard Dawkins? Dawkins, in the spirit of “natural selection,” would have wolfed Cheesus down – grinding Cheesus with his heathen teeth and sending the crushed remains down his filthy atheist gullet – leaving the awe-inspiring story of Cheesus untold.

2006 Cheesus

Of course you knew he would come again; and, sure enough, in 2008, a Missouri woman found Cheesus. This time, it appears as though the Roman cheetos have gotten to him. Don’t fret though, his return is inevitable. And when that day comes, it will be glorious.  

Cheesus 2008

…can be confusingly dishonest. Or dishonestly confusing. Whatever.

…is sometimes very, very stupid.